Wednesday, April 28, 2004

AAAAHHHH!!!! The craziest thing happened to me this week. My life decided to show up on the front door step and now I have NO idea what to do with it. Why is it that something so huge and imperative to being is so stinking hard to figure out? There are literally a thousand things that I want to do with my life and I have no idea how to get to any of them. It's as if I have a map, but I don't have the ability to see lines. Do you realize how horrible of a feeling that is? Everything is there... all of my ending places and goals in life are there but I have no idea how to get to them. I have no idea what roads to take or what stops to make along the way. It's all so ridiculous. I'll stop with the map analogies now. I don't know... I guess the saying So much to do, so little time is really starting to hit home, only I'm 18 years and my life has really only just begun. Anyway, as you can I see I've decided to blog again. I know that the suspense was killing you. I am going to leave you tonight with a list of things that I want to do with my life in no particular order. Enjoy!!

-Become an actress
-Become a singer
-Be a fashion designer
-Be an interior decorator
-Own a two-story coffee shop in Tennessee
-Open a child's theatre company
-Direct a movie
-Have my own program on NPR
-Write children's books
-Think of a quote that ends up in Bartlett's.
-Be an orthodontist
-Own a 4-Runner
-Write a screenplay
-Etc. Etc. Etc...

Sunday, April 11, 2004

I'm not blogging anymore... so ... blaaaaa

Monday, April 05, 2004

So there is really only one word that can describe this weekend. That word just happens to be wow. It was so strange how I didn't even realize how much fun I had until I got home and started talking about it with my mother. Somehow, in the span of about 24 hours, my life feels like it has changed completely. So many things were opened up this weekend that I would have never thought to open. I don't know how it happened but somehow, I started to find myself this weekend. For the longest time I had no idea who I was or what I was doing here. As I sit here listening to Switchfoot on TRL I am reminded even more of the surreal weekend. (The guys are wearing the same thing that they wore at the Austin show... they obviously did not consult Steve before the show.) I don't think I can explain what this weekend meant to me, but to the people involved... I am truly, truly grateful. I'm not sure you realize just what you have given me. For the first time in a long time I am in a total state of peace. Even though I have a million decisions to make, which would ordinarily maketh me a nervous wreck, I am amazingly ok with my current situations. I am ok with the fact that I have no idea what's going to happen in the next moment or in the next ten years for that matter. I am ok with the fact that I'm not perfect and I never will be. I am ok with the fact that I can't do things on my own. I am happier in this moment than I was in the moment before, and that has been true for every moment of this weekend. So to Katherine, my fence conquering partner, Steve, my teacher of handicap dances, Heather, my gal in the middle, JIB, the fearless venturer, Seth, the name caller, and God, the mastermind of it all...Thank you...from the bottom of my heart.

Saturday, April 03, 2004

I have so much to say and so little brain space to make it make sense. I think I'll try again tomorrow.