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Have you ever spent so much time with yourself that you begin to notice every single tiny little fault? Usually, you spend so much time around other people that you don't notice so much that you have a stupid laugh, or that your eyes are not even, or that you are one of the weakest individuals you know? I have had to unfortunate pleasure of really getting to know myself since I finally took the plunge and moved out of my house. It never really dawned on me until these past two must just how little self esteem I have. I guess I used to be able to hide it from myself even pretty well, but I'm afraid it's come out in full force. I find it interesting that weakness can be so strong. I honestly hate feeling this way but I don't know how to fix it. I have the constant feeling that I am doing something wrong, that I am making the wrong choice, or saying the wrong thing. My insecurities have completely overtaken me and I don't know how to get back. I used to think that I couldn't sleep because I just wasn't tired. Come to find out, I don't sleep because I lay in bed at night thinking of all the things that I could be doing with and for myself and others. I've tried to shift my thoughts into something more productive and more selfless but it just doesn't happen. I have such an issue with free will. I can totally make my mind up to do something and then two seconds later by stupid free will is completely taking over and screwing things up. I don't know how to change and I want to in the worst sort of way...help.