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Uuuuugggghhhh(Done Napolean Dynomite style). Once again I am a reatard that can't sleep. I really think that there are 2 kinds of people in the world, those who can sleep, and those who stay up into the wee hours of the morning thinking about their faults. Unfortunately, I am the latter of the two. I really do try to be satisfied with who I am but everywhere I look there is something better and I hate that I am not that something better. My whole existance is surrounded with those who in my eyes are better. That's just ridiculous and I know this, but yet I can never seem to do anything about it. I am so scared that I will turn to something that hurts me or those around me. For some reason I am so scared to just be who I am. I keep thinking about that quote from Garden State, the one that says,"We may not always be as happy as we dreamed we'd be, but for once, let's just allow ourselves to be whatever it is are." I so wish that I could be that...just exatly what I am... nothing more and nothing less. This just really hurts.