Sunday, January 30, 2005

Time didn't ask me
If this was ok
And life didn't tell me
That it would happen this way
The inconsiderate lines
Of the music I play

But the notes on the page
Fall sadly into place
A minor happenstance
A major barracade
A brick in the window
Breaks a portrait of today
Shed light on the subject fades away

I know that I wander
What is this all about
What's this picture I have painted
What's the novel I fail to write
Where's the music to my dance
Where's my perfect gallery light

But I forget, about the art of this day
I remind myself
That today's yesterday
By tomorrow

Sunday, January 16, 2005

So I miss my family so much already it hurts. Today, I went running in the freezing cold for 45 minutes. At one point I couldn't tell whether it was the cold hurting me or the fact that everything I have ever known is 5 hours away. I was writting a letter to my parents this afternoon and the whole idea that they are not a bedroom away like they have been all my life completely throws me off. I would kill to be one of those kids who can just go off to college, have a good time, and come home during the summer and be fine with things. Unfortunately...I am soo not one of those kids. I know that this is ridiculous and that this whole experience is all part of growing up, but right now I just want to be 6 again knowing that if I fall down and hurt myself that my parents are just inside the door. I know that things will get better and I know that I will be able to do this, but right now, that eventuallity seems so far away. I guess I should stop dwelling on this and do something that get's my mind off of things. Congratulations to anyone who can leave home and not give it a second thought...I am so jealous of you.