Saturday, October 15, 2005

It's been forever, but I'm still here. Believe or not folks, I have officially broken my run of colleges. I have actually gone to the same college for two semesters in a row. Crazy, I know. Although I am no closer to who I am than I have ever been, I am at least doing something consecutively for the first time in my life and it feels good....strange, but good.

I don't really know what I'm doing. I'm existing...and I realize that sometimes that is all we can do, but I feel so....I don't know, nothing. I don't feel good, or bad, or sad, or happy really. For someone who has more emotions that most, it's strange not to really feel anything. What does it mean even? Life in monotonous, and I know that, and I understand and accept that, but it's still stupid sometimes. I think the hardest thing to decipher is what really matters in life. I'd go crazy if I tried to make everything matter, but at the same time, it's ridiculous how bad I am at understanding what I should and should not worry about. I guess techniquely I shouldn't "worry" about anything, but I'm only human...and not a very good one at that.

Texas Tech beat the crap out of Kansas State(eventually)so that's exciting. I was worried about the boys there for a little while, but they pulled back in. My friend is cooking Lindsey and I dinner tonight. He has blue eyes and he makes me laugh...=)=)=)

I miss everyone.